The Seven Layers Of Relationship Experience
When people want to go deeper into their relationships it is often about trying to get something they do not yet have. There are many different behaviors, motivations, attractions and skills we want our partner to demonstrate. The first lesson in conscious relationships is that trying to change our partner to meet our needs is a foolish endeavor. The key is to accept others as they are, recognizing that the only effective way to resolve our irritations is to change our expectations. Of course, we can let go of our desire to have a relationship or to be irritated by another. We always have the ability to change our response, which guarantees our autonomy.
This class is a summary and map of the conscious relationship territory. By following these guidelines, we are able to make clear choices about what works for us. The first distinction we confront is how to separate ourselves from our parents. We need to define, in general, who we are and what we want in a way that illustrates the differences we have with our parents. The more we can think independently, the more we can choose our own path and be responsible for the consequences of our actions.
The second distinction is accepting whom we are based on how we show up. Are we able to be congruent between who we say we are and how we keep our promises? What do we say is important and how much do we follow through? Can others count on us? How much can we count on ourselves? Do we have the capacity to persevere and demonstrate real-time consistency? If we are defining ourselves in terms of others, these questions are uncertain, to the degree we are acting Co-Dependently.
The third distinction is to be able to differentiate between relationships that bring out the best and those that bring out the worst in us. For this distinction to have strength, we need to understand our Motives in others. Lower Motive individuals bring out our worst, while higher Motives support us in growing. In conscious relationships we need to establish where we are going, or we get caught in default choices that limit growth.
The fourth distinction is about making choices based on positive attractions. This means eliminating relationships that are based on Excitement, Intensity and Anxiety. The more we can find quality individuals who are able to receive and give love, the more likely these partners will be to possess positive bonding qualities with Cellular Affinity, Vibratory Response and Vibratory Expansion. We test these qualities by doing creative projects with our partners.
The fifth distinction is about choosing partners who have a similar or congruent Authentic Life Expression. Being passionate about what we do, and sharing it with our partner, brings out synergistic possibilities. At the least, we need to support our partners in making their contribution. At best, we want to be able to share our contribution with others who are Co-Creating with us.
The sixth distinction is about expanding the range of our Relationship Skills so we can interact fully with one another. The main Skills are Growth, Autonomy, Intimacy and Co-Creativity. On the masculine side, it is Aliveness, Playfulness, Paradox and Mutual Learning. On the feminine side it is Wisdom, Personality Detachment, Intuitive Discrimination and Physical Discernment. Most couples have only 2-3 common Skill points out of 12. This creates further stress, which is not necessary.
The seventh distinction is to organize our relationships and ourselves so we experience Creative Alignment (in our Intent, Content and Context). Most individuals focus on sexual chemistry or the exchange of needs. Creative Chemistry helps us to develop relationships on a heart level so we do not become overly attached to those who are unable to respond to us. We can then optimize our Life, Light and Love expressions to be Co-Creative authors of our experience.
Conscious Relationships require a conversation about differences and similarities. The deeper we go in our relationships, the more inner-connections are established. Joy, understanding and acceptance bring meaning and a sense of mutual purpose, unique to each circumstance. The goal of these processes (and discussions) is to build a sense of familiarity about how best to reveal ourselves to our partners. Relationships are not a job, but an opportunity to be seen.
Path To Conscious Relationships
Class Schedule: Saturday, March 31st,
Class Times (Webinar Format):
10:30am-5pm MST (with lunch break, BYO)
Price: $117 in person or $97 online, includes presentation files with class audios to all participants.
More Information & Registration:
Call Sandra Jaquith at (303) 832-3707