The Source Of Sexual Harassment
The headlines are full of individuals who misconstrue sexual interest with power. Using positions of authority, they assume they have the right to specialized attention at the cost of those who are seen as unimportant. This creates an imbalance between their needs and the needs of others. When acted upon, they abuse their power and create shame and guilt in their victims. This imbalance is either a denial of Sensations or Feelings, or both. They end up seeing partners as ways to offset their own feelings of impotence and powerlessness. The worst-case expression of Objectification is Child Trafficking. Child traffickers are Objectifiers, while the trafficked individuals are Objectified as victims. Whenever we see others as things to be manipulated, we are falling into an Objectification Distortion. Possessiveness and Excitement are also indications of Objectification. Even small degrees of this Distortion can cause us to act with a total disregard for others. This can also be seen by the degree to which those who are caught up in Objectification become jaded and need adrenaline rushes to offset their internal experience of deadness.
Many people think of Life energy as the key ingredient to guarantee survival. They think that the struggle in life is life. Actually, it is the struggle with our unconscious programming that makes life difficult. Life itself is being in flow. Our design is such that, until we become conscious of our safety programming, coping, conditioning or defensive reactions become defaults that impose their mandates upon us. These automatic fallback patterns of behavior are called the personality, that help us survive and succeed in the world. We call this struggle with parental patterns Excitement. We became excited when someone fits our fantasy parental pattern and we believe they will heal us from being objectified. If our parents did not see and accept us, we find parental substitutes through excitement to try again. Excitement becomes an automatic response to uncertain circumstances. What we think of our instinctive self is that it is confused, uncoordinated and not-aligned to Life energy. We experience this as urges and actions that become stimulated by circumstances. If we were well intentioned in our bodies, we would be aligned, present, and balanced in our bodies but most of us are not. As we become conscious, we start to see how our urges fit into a pattern of Safety and Security. Our unconscious reactive or impulsive side learns how to organize itself so it becomes a more complete reflection of us as a creative, responsive being. It learns to anticipate and adapt to changing circumstances.
The irony is that if we were more conscious of our Life energy, it would be easier to work with the Universe to have our needs fulfilled (rather than through programming). Blood, raw sexuality, procreation or the physical power to move forward are examples of instinctive elements that reflect unconscious programming and the need to survive. When we cannot formulate our attempts or ask for what we want, automatic patterns fall into place to try to get what we want. This safety net of conditioning is internally designed to help us get through life when we are not conscious about our actions. We accomplish this ability to make intentional our choices in life by honoring our Aliveness and the Aliveness of others.
The affirmation of life and acknowledging our vibrancy reveals our commitment. Our life path and destiny are kept on track by taking time to tune into our physical body and savoring its stillness and warmth. The more we anchor ourselves into the earth (through our feet), the more natural strength and courage we will have to confront and master our lessons. Let us concentrate on fulfilling our Intent. Let us stoke the fires of aspiration and gradually build momentum by the purity of our struggle. Day by day, the refinement of our Intent allows us to see, acknowledge and comprehend our purpose in ways previously unimagined. Let us see our courage in every small action we take. It is not the bigness of our dream that matters but the integrity we demonstrate when playing our part to fulfill the dream. Objectification is where we deny othersâ€™ possibilities to engage what we consider to be impossible. We limit others by minimizing them. We heal Objectification by understanding that we have no right to box others into our expectations framework. We can do something about his by joining the Advanced Defensive Healing class.
Manipulation Is The Goal Of Objectification
Objectification is an over-identification with physical form resulting in making us objects to be manipulated. One of the primary obstacles to knowing and acting in alignment with our truth is seeking shortcuts, where we use the fears of others to get what we want. The more we Objectify ourselves, the more we repress who we are and build a sense of (false) power by attempting to possess others as our servants. This causes and reinforces suffering, sorrow and grief that cannot be owned or seen by us. The way we avoid this pain is to seek out Excitement, thereby escaping the higher expectations of ourselves and others. We do not understand that the more we seek to escape through Objectification, the more it pulls us down.
Ugliness is the capacity to deny our beauty by taking actions we are not proud of. It is the ability to lose ourselves in pain, and then we act out to create pain with others. Objectification is the primary way we hide our Ugliness by not owning how our actions are creating pain for others. Until we can see and own our own Ugliness, we will not be able to fully see and acknowledge our Beauty. The problem is that over time we lose the ability to hide our Ugliness and it manifests in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to rationalize. We get to the place where self hatred causes us to give up on our life (manifested as jadedness). If we consciously objectify others, we become cruel and critical. It is important to take a stand for our Authentic Life Expression because, more than anything else, it provides the meaning we give to our Being. We experience our Greatness in this pursuit. Passion is the primary indicator of being in alignment with ourselves. If we cannot feel it, we cannot manifest it.
When we deny Life we deny Objectification distortions. On the feminine side these distortions are avarice, vanity and cruelty. They manifest outwardly as suspicion, sorrow and avoiding excitement. On the masculine side, the distortions are conceit, stubbornness and being critical, where by acting clever, concealing grief and controlling excitement, we are able to distract others from their own Intent. When we combine avarice and conceit we create self-hatred, which is commonly expressed as a jaded non-passionate expression of Life. When we combine vanity and stubbornness it amplifies derision, where we impose suffering on others to compensate for our past unexpressed suffering. Finally, when cruelty and criticalness come together it is clearly manifested by a sense of Inertia where we use our imagination to idealize excitement and never seem able to get past it. This is because we possess no intentional commitment to our actions at this point. The more we are caught up in these Distortions, the less we see our own Objectification of others. We become immune to the poor way we treat them. Objectification becomes about controlling our image and disowning the reality of the true cost it exacts in our lives. We are viewing the Objectification through a lens where others have no power to impact us and therefore can be easily made victims. It is no surprise when they eventually claim their victimhood and try to exert guilt upon their Subjectifiers.
This unconscious need to get in control of our physical well-being is assisted by the motives of Greed, Lust and Arrogance. It is ironic that to fully embody our Life energy, we need to experience losing touch with Life. In other words, we have to transcend the rawness of Life instincts and step outside of ourselves to actually bring back a conscious understanding of how to be unified with our Life energy. We know we are not aligned (with our Life energy) in the experience of Excitement. Excitement indicates that Fears and Desires are interfering with our capacity to respond to our needs. Trying to control Excitement, avoid it, or idealize it, creates a holding pattern where we do not understand what is going on in our Life expression. The more able we are to react or respond with clear intent on a physical level, the more consciously we can express our Aliveness (which is the opposite of Excitement). Aliveness reflects that we have shifted into valuing our Life energy rather than manipulating it to survive.
The more we get caught up in the pursuit of pleasure, the more our selfish desires are used in procreation of the race. Part of our design is that when we are selfish, it inadvertently produces benefits for others. It is paradoxical that our programming actually works for us when engaging personal desires (lessons) that teach the value of working with others. It is the isolation we endure (in these processes) that encourages us to find better ways to connect with others. At the same time, we need to learn how to take responsibility for our own process and direction. How do we accomplish this without first challenging ourselves to own our Life experience? Personality safety interests also drive us to recreate the patterns of our parents (in our partners) when we have not yet distinguished ourselves from them. This means we are attracted to individuals who reflect the qualities we see in our parents, along with their capacity to validate us (or not) by acknowledging who we are. Since sexuality is a Life energy expression, Conditioning leads us to make choices that require others to either complement or support our Excitement as a substitute for actual Life energy. This can be seen when individuals who idealize Excitement are attracted to those who need to control it.
Excitement is actually a solitary experience where we repress our fears and attempt to satisfy our desires by looking for individuals who will love us. Unfortunately, it drives us to choose partners who are the most challenging, because they reflect parental-lesson incompletions. The real cost is that we end up losing ourselves in or merging with these patterns in a way that produces Co-Dependence and Caretaking and prevents growth (if we stay with these partners). This type of love is often confused with sex and deals with conditional expressions of love where we complement our partner. Love is seen as safety (Protective Love) or Security (Directive Love) or a combination of the two (Quid Pro Quo Love). This is anchored by the Attractions of Sexy, Reliable or Smart and the Motives of Greed, Lust and Arrogance. These instinctive expressions counterbalance fears that our partner will not be concerned with what we are already worried about. Important to understand is that we always experience Excitement around those individuals that reflect our opposite gender parent (if heterosexual), or same gender parent (if gay or lesbian).